Book 3: Chapter 6

I can finally experience the great feeling of freedom. I never would have thought I would be released from prison. I get to sit in this cafe all day and sip on the disgusting gin. I started having weird memories of the past. I betrayed Julia and she betrayed me. I guess that is all the Party wanted us to do. We broke a promise between each other and our relationship has ceased to exist. It is unbelievable how I pictured marrying Julia. Now my only love is Big Brother.

Book 3: Chapter 5

Rats! I did not think I would ever see them again. O'Brien has the most torturous mind in Oceania. I cannot believe he has the evil to have the dirty infected rats on my face. They can eat my eyes out and eventually kill me. I cannot move and fight back because stupid O'Brien is scared of me hurting him. He has not skills to fight me. Instead he has the guards do everything for him because he knows if I lay hands on him, I will kill him. No rats, fire, water, or swords for killing him. He will face the same torture he has caused me and then be shot in the back of the head.

Book 3: Chapter 4

I am improving. O'Brien has made me all that he has wished for. My body is getting back to normal and I feel new again. Pain and starvation does not even come into my mind anymore. If anything, my life as a prisoner is better than my daily life. I receive three meals a day with meat at the end of each meal. I am enjoying it and feel like I am on vacation. Then the night came when I got caught from screaming Julia's name. I guess my internal feelings are still there and they have not beaten them out yet. I hope they just shoot me in the back of the head.

Book 3: Chapter 3

Why did I betray Julia? I said I had not betrayed her but I know I did. I had told O'Brien everything I know about Julia. I betrayed Julia and I hope she will forgive me. I hope she is safe and was released. Although I know she probably confessed as much as I have. Maybe she is already dead for O'Brien said I was a difficult case. Knowing Julia she probably did not obey their requests. I wonder if her body looks as dead as mine. My body has deteriorated and I will probably die before they will shoot me. I do not think I will ever recover from this skinny and gray body.

Book 3: Chapter 2

The torture sessions were horrific! A plethora of pain running through my body to where I do not even feel them hitting me anymore. The pain has diminished each torture session. The crazy thing is that I do not know the exact reason I am being punished. I have spoken to know one except O'Brien. I was being beaten by people that did not care what crime I committed. Torture will not cure me, it will only kill me. O'Brien's mentality is corrupt and so is his idea of torture. He kept switching the dial on and off. That was the worst amount of pain I have endured in my entire life.

Book 3: Chapter 1

I hope the Brotherhood can send me a razor blade. I would rather commit suicide than die in this cell I have been in. I absolutely hate it in here. I have realized that Room 101 is most likely where they put prisoners to their death. I am starving and am scared for the torture that is soon to come. On a good note, I met a women that could be my mother. I doubt it because there is no way she had committed any crime. I wonder what would happen if she were to be my mother. If she is then we will both die.

Book 2: Chapter 10

Mr. Charrington! I would have never guessed. I cannot believe he is of the Thought Police. For all I know he could have been listening since day one. Mr. Charrington was probably hiding and listening behind the wall the whole time. He knows all of Julia and I's secrets. I pray that I will see the love of my life again. We did not even have time to say good bye or get a good look at each other. Maybe the lady outside was in on our arrest because she had disappeared. I cannot turst anyone in this society.

Book 2: Chapter 9

I practically already knew facts Goldstein stated in the book. Although doublethink is something I have never thought about. It allows people to see both sides of the story and think twice. I think the Thought Police would hate doublethink because it allows people to rebel if something is wrong. I think that is what I am today. I take what I know and think about the pros and cons. Everything I have disagreed with the Party is because I doublethink. Without it I woould probably be a normal Outer Party member following every rule I am suppose to obey.

Book 2: Chapter 8

O'Brien is a secretive man. I cannot believe how brave and rebellious O'Brien can be. He can turn off the telescreen just because he is a Inner Party member. He will most likely never be caught by the Thought Police because he practically is the Thought Police. I am wondering if any other Party member is just like O'Brien. If there is, the Party is completely corrupt. The Brotherhood has plenty of requirements for Julia and I. I agreed to almost all the requirements such as changing identity, murder, lies, except for one. There was one rule both Julia and I resisted from, love. WE agreed to not be separated and we will stick with that statement till the end. Although, the Brotherhood sounds like there are no promises kept.

Book 2: Chapter 7

That nightmare was horrific! I cannot believe what a savage I was to my mother and sister. I did not realize it back then. My mine focus in the past was for food. I was a greedy kid that did not care about my family. If the Party did not put such a shortage on food I would be happily living with my mother and sister. But now they are probably working in camp or sadly, dead. I hope God forgives me for being such a savage. What would my mom say to me if I ever saw her again? Would she forgive me and accept me as a son? I pray that she forgives me.

Book 2: Chapter 6

I am extremely excited to go to O'Brien's home. My plan of rebellion is about to begin. Maybe O'Brien is tricking me and going to murder me when I go to his home. I do not care about that though. I am going to take the risk of my first plan of rebellion. I have to start some where in order to defeat the Party. O'Brien had found me in the hallway. How did he do it? I have no clue. All I know is that he is obviously not afraid to get caught. O'Brien gave me his address right in front of a telescreen. I wonder if anyone was watching. If anyone was watching I should be dead by now.

Book 2: Chapter 5

I knew it, Syme would disappear! Apparently Syme had not shown up to work a few days ago. I think he was taken over night just like I had predicted. Syme had no chance of living because of all he has known. I cannot stop thinking about Julia and I's room above Mr. Charrington's shop. I just want to go back and lay in bed all day. Listen to the actions going on in the streets and the old lady singing her old song throughout the day. Listening to proles all day just makes me want to become one. After all, they are our only hope of changing this corrupted society.

Book 2: Chapter 4

The coffee Julia brought today was amazing. I have never tasted anything like it. How come Inner Party members are only able to experience great tasting coffee. It is completely unfair because they get all the goods from bread, coffee, and sugar and we get almost nothing. The Party does not care about us. Although, I found Julia's make up to not be so amazing. I love her the way she is and with all the make up she looked like a whole new ugly person. I hope she does not put on the make up ever again.

Book 2: Chapter 3

Sometimes I disagree with Julia's decisions. She does not believe in widespread rebellion and only within herself. I feel that if enough people can rebel, then others will follow and it will be allowed. Julia just believes in living her life the best way as possible instead of caring about others. I guess I am more caring and rebelling for my society's sake. I also think about what would have happened if I did push Katherine off that cliff. Would my life be different today or would I even get to meet the love of my life, Julia. My life would be horrible without Julia but I would not have even of known her. I am glad I met Julia.

Book 2: Chapter 2

She is not a spy! She is my future wife. Her name is Julia. Even thought she is 15 years younger than me I adore her. Julia is perfect for me. She has done it a hundred times and that fits me perfectly. We act as if we already husband and wife. The trip to the country was the best time of my life. I love the fresh air and especially no telescreens! What can I say, Julia has brought me into heaven and I never want to leave her arms again.

Book 2: Chapter 1

The feeling of her hand is the best feeling from a lady I have felt in a while. I wonder if her directions are accurate enough to lead us somewhere safe. I hope she is not tricking me into handing me over to the Thought Police. But I know she is not. The way she grasped onto my hand as if she did not want to let go. I tremendously excited to see where she leads me. Maybe it is a secret organization rebelling against the Party. If anything, I am going to join. Perhaps O'Brien may be there. If he is, I have found my freedom.

Chapter 8

Okay I must calm down. The Thought Police are not after me, at least hope they are not. I thought about suicide but then thought about O'Brien. I am still curious and eager to find the darkness in which we will meet. Is it in room with no telescreen or heaven? If anything I hope I find O'Brien before the Thought Police find me. I should have smashed that dark-haired girls brains into the pavement. She is the reason I am stressing over someone knocking on my door. Why is she following me? Something tells me she is a spy. When I see her again, I am going to kill her.

Chapter 7

I realized that O'Brien is the person I am writing too. O'Brien is suspicious and that is why he is like me. O'Brien is thinking the same thing I am. I have speak to O'Brien and wonder is the dream I had of O'Brien is true. Where is the darkness I will meet him at? He is the man that wondering the same exact things as I am. I have no clue when is the next time we will meet. I hope he has not been vaporized already. I also do not know how we are going to communicate without the Thought Police spying on us. Or what about the dark-haired girl? Maybe she was is a spy or wondering what O'Brien and I are not suppose to be thinking about.

Chapter 6

I wish I had birght light that night I had a sexual encounter with the prole. I have not had sex in years and that is why I did not think twice about the prole. Katherine and I tried and tried but failed to have kids. I did not want kids as bad as Katherine did but was just looking for the pleasure. The night with the prole was one of the best nights I have not had in awhile. Then it turns out the prole is over 50 years old and ugly. I have not idea what I was thinking. I sort of wish Katherine came back to remind me of the beautiful lady she was. I will never encounter a prole again in my lifetime.

Chapter 5

Today I spoke with Comrade Syme who works on revising the Newspeak. I think Comrade Syme is going to get vaporized by the Thought Police because he simply knows information that he should not even be talking about. Comrade Syme talks about cutting out words that are not needed if one word can do the job. I do not understand why Syme would discard words. Taking out words will make people like me have little words to express our emotions. Pretty soon there will be no words to express what we want to say by 2050. I am scared that Syme might exclude all the words in Newspeak that are essential to my way of emotion and expression.

Chapter 4

I find my job quite boring because I sit in a cubicle all day. I wonder why Big Brother cannot update his developments himself. Why do people like myself have to update it for him if he is the head of the party and knows what he wants to do. This makes me think Big Brother is fake because I have never seen him in person. I have heard about him and met members of his party, but never seen him with my own eyes. Of course I cannot share this idea with anyone because they could tell the Thought Police and I will be gone tomorrow morning. I wish I could share my ideas with someone else on fake Big Brother.

Chapter 3

I just got done with my morning workout and am sluggish. I got yelled at by the instructor for not working hard enough. I was surprised they could even see me. I am sure they have plenty of other telescreens to look at but why mine? I was curious how they are able to watch my morning workout. I hate how I have an ulcer and I still have to do the workout. It is itchy and painful but I still have to touch my toes and run. The workouts are nothing but a joke. I think they are a waste of my time but maybe they have the morning workouts on purpose. Maybe it is just to see how I am and how well I respond to the telescreen. Perhaps, I am the only one who did the workout.

Chapter 2

My heart began pounding when I heard the door knock. I thought the Thought Police was waiting outside my door step ready to kill me. Thankfully, it was Mrs. Parsons who came over again for the plumbing. Why can't your own husband do it? She has her own husband to do things around the house for her and she has the nerve to come and ask me. She almost gave me a heart attack. Then when I got into her house the green disgusting water filled up the whole sink. When I unclogged it I found out there was a huge hair ball stuck. The whole job was filthy. While walking back to my house her kids yelled at me and said I am an Eurasian Spy. I was scared because I thought they were Junior Spies. But luckily they had no clue about the diary, at least I hope they did not.

Chapter 1

Today as I was walking up the staircase I noticed many posters saying"BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU." I wonder if he really is watching every move I make or every word I say. All I know is to watch what I say, do, and moves I make in front of the telescreen. I get tired of all the propaganda they constantly announce on the telescreen. I feel with my back turned away from the telescreen the Thought Police will not mind me much. I think O'Brien is an enemy to the party. He is suspicious the way he acts and also the dark haired girl. I wonder what they are up too. If anything, O'Brien will probably get snatched from the Thought Police over night. Whatever party they are from, I am going to find out.